The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy – Summary (Part 2)
Today’s learning is dedicated to the refuah sheleima of Simcha Nosson ben Zissel.
As discussed in our previous post, the premise of Tomer Devorah is based on our ability to effect change, not only to our immediate surroundings, but to the world at large. As Rabbi Yaakov Klein writes based on the teachings of Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, “When a Jew begins his spiritual odyssey, a major catalyst for spiritual growth is his realization of how incredibly significant his actions are. When a Jew fully grasps that his actions, speech, and thoughts affect not only his own personal life but the entirety of creation – including the heavenly worlds that precede and transcend ours – he will begin taking himself and his daily life choices more seriously. He will pride himself in the tremendous blessing he is drawing upon the worlds with his holy service.”
Similarly, Rabbi Klein writes, “Everything we do, every action we take, makes a difference in an arena so much larger than that of our own personal existence. Although we may never come to know the great changes we have made, the belief and awareness in our significance can lend a greater sense of purpose to our lives… A smile here, a hug there, and who knows? Perhaps millions of lonely people in three continents suddenly felt like smiling through their tears. Perhaps friends from all corners of the world were suddenly seized by the unexpected urge to embrace.”
A substantial portion of the human experience is our interactions with others. When we approach our interpersonal relationships in the correct manner, we can draw an influx of heavenly blessing and mercy into this world.
As previously discussed, we are taught that we must judge every person favorably (Avos 1:6). Rebbe Nachman explains that by focusing on their inherent “good points,” we can draw them closer and establish an amicable relationship. Rebbe Nachman teaches (Advice, Peace # 11), “Hashem always considers the good that people do. It may be that something not so good was mixed up with it, but Hashem pays no attention to this. If this is Hashem’s way, how much more should we attempt to do the same. Never look for the bad side of other people or hunt out their shortcomings and weak points when it comes to religion. Look only for the good and always search out the merit and worth in them. You will then be at peace with everyone.” (see Likutey Moharan II, 17)
Similarly, Rebbe Nachman teaches (Advice, Peace # 2), “You should always make every effort to search out whatever merit and goodness you can find within the Jewish people. Judge everyone favorably, even those who oppose you and treat you disrespectfully. If you do this, you will never be troubled by opposition and arguments.” (see Likutey Moharan I, 6)
In general, we must be respectful to all creations, regardless of their shortcomings or deficiencies. Thus, no person or creation should ever be considered repulsive in our eyes. The Talmud (Ta’anis 20a) relates that when Rebbi Elazar ben Rebbi Shimon berated an exceedingly unattractive man (who, in fact, was Eliyahu HaNavi in disguise) the man responded, “Why don’t you go to the Craftsman Who made me and tell Him how ugly His vessel is?” Commenting on this incident, the Maharsha writes that Eliyahu HaNavi was chastising Rebbi Elazar because it is forbidden to point out a blemish in any part of creation.
The Ramak, Rabbi Moshe Cordevero, takes this a step further saying, “One must respect all creatures, as one can discern within them the mark of the Creator Who formed Man with wisdom; all creations contain the wisdom of their Creator within them. He should look and find that they are exceedingly praiseworthy. If he should, G-d forbid, berate them, he is insulting the honor of their Creator. This can be likened to a goldsmith who forms a vessel with tremendous wisdom and shows his handiwork to some people. If one of them were to begin to insult and criticize the vessel, how angry would the wise man become, as they are insulting his wisdom by insulting his handiwork. In the same way, it is evil in Hashem’s eyes when we shame His creations.” (Similarly, Rebbe Nachman teaches that we must constantly strive to search for and understand the wisdom behind all of creation, both in particular and in general.)
Rabbi Cordevero extends this concept to everything in existence, including insects and rodents. As Rabbi Klein explains, “If they are here, they must be important enough for Hashem to continue giving them life, and that means we can search within them and find the spark of holiness they contain. If we keep this in mind as we go about our daily life, it won’t be long before we realize that what we thought was a mundane world is in fact entirely filled with exalted wisdom and holy significance.”
(Similarly, the Lubavitcher Rebbe taught, “Each and every life circumstance may be used as a vehicle for closeness with the Master of the world.” And this most certainly includes the people we encounter throughout life.)
When confronted with a difficult or aggressive personality, we naturally consider them a burden or nuisance; our initial instinct is either to combat them, or to separate and avoid them completely. But as we learn from Tomer Devorah, Hashem places us in these circumstances as an opportunity; not to argue, not to run and hide, but to rise and overcome.
As the Talmud teaches (Shabbos 127b), “One who judges his fellow favorably is judged favorably by Hashem.” As we quoted from Rebbe Nachman when we began discussing this topic, emulating and implementing the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy is a prospect for forgiveness (see Sichos HaRan # 89). By overlooking the faults of others, Hashem deals in kind with us, forgiving our faults and mistakes.
(Rebbe Nachman also warns against the incessant conflict spread throughout this world; he urges us to keep far away from such futile quarrelling. Rebbe Nachman teaches (Wisdom # 77), “The whole world is filled with fighting. Nation disputes against nation. Every city has its factions. Each household is locked in arguments with the neighbors… And so on and so on. No one thinks about what the ultimate goal of the world is… How can he waste his time on arguments? Anyone who has any sense should understand this and win long life for himself. Let him not waste his life on quarrels, large or small. He should control himself, hold his anger in check, and live peacefully with everyone.”)
While we naturally attract and surround ourselves with like-minded people, Rebbe Nachman teaches that true peace is attained when we draw close those who are most distant, when we find common ground despite our differences.
As Rebbe Nachman teaches (Advice, Peace # 10) “The real meaning of peace is to fit together two opposites. So you should not be disturbed when you come across someone whose thinking is the exact opposite of yours. Don’t assume you will never be able to live amicably with him. Similarly, if you see two people who are completely opposite types, you should not decide it is impossible to make peace between them. Quite the contrary! Perfect peace is achieved through the effort to make peace between two opposites, just as G-d makes peace in His heights between fire and water, which are two opposites. The way to achieve peace is through complete self-sacrifice to sanctify the Name of G-d.” (see Likutey Moharan I, 80)
When we view every life experience and encounter as an avenue to connect to Hashem, we can approach these difficult and testing circumstances with clarity and equanimity. When we understand that everything is sent directly from Hashem, we gain the ability to look beyond face value, the ability to contemplate and search for the message contained within the particular circumstance. Thus, Rebbe Nachman teaches that increased knowledge results in increased peace. As he states (Advice, Controversy and Strife # 15), “The deeper a person’s understanding, the more detached he will be from infighting and controversy. The main reason for factionalism and anger is lack of understanding” (see Likutey Moharan I, 56:3).
Tomer Devorah and the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy teach us that change begins from within. If we notice a lack in the world around us, we can effect change by reflecting upon ourselves and our actions. Similarly, Rebbe Nachman teaches (see Likutey Moharan I, 14), “There are two kinds of peace. There is the ‘peace in one’s bones’ – in oneself. This is the first priority, because at times a person has no peace within himself, as it is written, ‘There is no peace in my bones because of my sin’ (Psalms 38:4).” Once we are at peace with ourselves, we can establish true peace with those around us. (Rabbi Baruch Gartner points out that this is why in his lesson “Azamra” (Likutey Moharan I, 282) Rebbe Nachman rallies back and forth between finding the good within ourselves, as well as finding the good in others; the two are interdependent.)
(Similarly, Rebbe Nachman teaches (Advice, Peace # 6), “The search for peace must be twofold: within the Jewish people as a whole and within each individual himself. Each person must resolve any conflicts that exist between the different parts of his character. He must also develop harmonious approach to his life experiences as a whole, so that it makes no difference to him whether things are seemingly good or bad: he will always find G-d in everything. Through Torah and the tzaddikim we can achieve this harmony. Both are called ‘peace,’ and through them each person can feel his love for G-d regardless of his situation, whether things are good or seemingly bad. He will also feel his love for his fellow Jew. This way peace will spread throughout the Jewish nation.” (see Likutey Moharan I, 33))
As previously discussed, we are to act compassionately and mercifully even when the other person may not be deserving of our kindness; the mercy we speak of goes beyond the dictates of justice, transcending what is considered fair or deserving. As the saying goes, “We can find common ground only by moving to higher ground.”
The Torah tells us that Avraham was compelled to separate from his nephew Lot after his shepherds began quarreling with Avraham’s shepherds. Rashi (Bereishes 13:7) explains that after Lot’s shepherds allowed their animals to graze in private property, Avraham felt he could no longer live with Lot, and he offered Lot the option to choose where to live. Lot chose to live among the sinful people of Sedom, because of the luxurious and opulent lifestyle he could enjoy there. Eventually, the four kings attacked Sedom and took Lot captive along with the rest of the city. When news reached Avraham, he mobilized an army and set out to rescue his nephew, where he defeated the four kings.
Rabbi Efrem Goldberg cites Rav Soloveitchik zt’l, who notes that many people in Avraham’s situation would have responded to the news of Lot’s captivity by thinking that he had it coming, or that “it serves him right.” Lot got himself into this situation by first allowing his shepherds to steal, and then choosing to live among the wicked people of Sedom. A lesser person would have said, “He got what he deserved,” and leave it at that. But the Torah (Bereishes 14:14) tells us that Avraham heard “that his brother was taken captive.” Rabbi Goldberg writes, “Rav Soloveitchik notes the Torah’s emphasis on the fact that Lot was Avraham’s ‘brother,’ his kin, to whom he felt responsible irrespective of Lot’s poor decisions which caused his crisis. Avraham’s conduct teaches us that we are responsible for our fellow Jews, and dutybound to help them when they are in trouble, regardless of their conduct, even if they had made bad decisions. When a brother or sister needs help, we are to go help them no matter what they have done.” Just as we must never give up on ourselves, so too we must never give up on our brothers and sisters.
Similarly, Rabbi Goldberg writes, “Later, we read that Hashem disclosed to Avraham His plan to destroy Sedom and the surrounding cities due to their grave misconduct. Avraham responded by pleading to Hashem to spare the city. G-d ultimately agreed that even if He would find just ten righteous people in the city, He would spare the entire population in their merit.”
“The Alter of Klem asks how Avraham knew that this is what Hashem wanted – that he would pray for the city. What justification did he have to brazenly petition Hashem to rescind His decree to destroy Sedom? The Alter answers, very simply, that Avraham reached this conclusion on the basis of the fact that Hashem informed him of His decree. Avraham reasoned that if Hashem brought him this knowledge, there must be a reason why. Hashem must have wanted Avraham to respond, to react, to do something to help. And so, he proceeded to petition Hashem on the city’s behalf.”
“The Alter applied this message to information which is brought to our attention. If we find out about somebody who is struggling, who faces some problem, this is not just coincidental. If Hashem has given us this information, He has done so for a purpose – so we can try to help, either through offering assistance when possible, or through prayer. When we hear of somebody who is ill, Heaven forbid, or somebody who faces any other kind of difficulty, we cannot just go on as usual. We learn from Avraham that we must respond and beseech G-d on behalf of those who need help, because it is precisely for this purpose that Hashem made us aware of our fellow’s plight.”
We are to apply this concept to the various people we encounter; if Hashem placed them in our path, it is for a reason. By acting mercifully and forgivingly towards them, we increase peace and harmony in this world, ultimately bringing much joy and pride to Hashem. As the verse states (Psalms 133:1), “How good and how pleasant it is that brothers dwell together.”
Although it may be easier to turn the other way, let us instead rise to the challenge, making the most of the incredible opportunity placed before us. As Rabbi Moshe Kormornick writes, “We are in this world to grow, and this is mainly achieved through successfully climbing the hurdles that are placed in our way. They may be difficult to overcome, but they are a gift to help us to become better people.”
This concludes our discussion on the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. May we all merit to approach life’s challenges with a clear and settled mind, enabling us to treat others with increased mercy and tolerance, thereby invoking a downpour of blessings from Above, ultimately bringing the final Redemption, may it be speedily in our days!
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