Search for:
Cart 0
  • About
    • Privacy
  • Shiurim
    • 5 Minutes of Daily Parsha
    • “10 to 10 for 10”
      • Rabbi Adam P Dubin
      • Rabbi Efraim Levine
      • Rabbi Shmuel Mayefsky
      • Rabbi Eli Neiman
      • Rabbi Mordechai Plotsker
      • Rabbi Etan Tokayer
      • Rabbi Yissochor Wartell
    • A Shot Of Shabbos
    • Iyun Tefilah
    • Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Agishtein
    • Rabbi Avraham Avnit
    • Rabbi Avtzon
    • Jordana Baruchov
    • Rabbi Zalman Cohen
    • Rabbi Tzachi Diamond
    • The Parshah on Fire (Rabbi Hillel Eisenberg)
    • Bava Kamma, Mishanos with Danny Louis
      • Eduyos
      • Makkos
      • Sanhedrin
      • Shavuos
    • Megilla (Gemara) with Danny Louis
    • Rabbi Tzvi Mordechai Feldheim
    • Rabbi Sholom Francis
    • Rabbi Avraham Friedman
    • Rabbi Ephraim Friedman
    • Reb Isaac Friedman
    • Rabbi Shalom Garfinkel
    • Rabbi Uri Yehuda Greenspan – 1st Seder Bais Medrash
    • Rabbi Reuven Gross zt”l
    • Reb Tani Guterman
    • Rabbi Moshe Heigh
    • Chassidus R. Avi Kamman
    • Daf Yomi Brochos By Rabbi Shumel Bernath
    • Daf Yomi Shabbos By Rabbi Shumel Bernath
    • Rabbi Zev Kahn
    • Rabbi Yaakov Karp
    • Rabbi Moshe Klein
    • Rabbi Kalman Krohn ZTL.
    • Rebbetzin Chavah Sarah Luban Z”L
    • Rabbi Michael Merrill
    • Rabbi Dovid Perkel
      • Beis HaLevi On Bitachon
    • Rabbi Shmuel Plotsker
    • Rabbi Elisha Prero
    • Rabbi Yisroel Pruzansky (Chaishek HaTorah)
    • Living Higher with Chaim Reidel
    • Rabbi Moshe Revah
    • Shabbos Songs
    • Rabbi Menachem Siderson
    • Story Time for Kids
    • Rabbi Shay Tahan
    • SmallTalks with Rabbi Shmuel Tenenbaum
    • Rabbi Jeff Thurm
    • Rabbi Dovid Toback
    • Rabbi Efraim Twerski
    • Mrs. C D Urbach
    • Rabbi Yechiel Weberman
    • The 40 Day Challenge (2024)
  • Printable D’var Torahs
    • Printable D’var Torahs
    • Bet Horaah Shaare Ezra Newsletter (Rabbi Shay Tahan)
    • Bitachon Weekly (Rabbi Yehuda Mandel)
    • Chizuk With Rebbe Nachman ZT’L
    • Daf Yomi Insights
    • Doeihu: A Daily Guide For The Jewish Worker
    • Kavana B’Mitzvos (Rabbi Daniel Garfinkel)
    • Menucha Magazine
    • In Hilchos Shabbos (Rabbi Shmuel Stein)
    • Rashi Riddles
    • Sichos Yisroel (HaRav Yisroel Brog)
    • The Dee Pirkei Avot Project
    • The Spring Hill Times
    • United We Stand
  • Refuah Shelaima
  • Shiur Schedule
    • ShiurEnjoyment Zoom (9:50 PM EST)
  • Contact
  • Register
לזכר לעילוי נשמת דוד אברהם בן חייא קהת זצ’ל
לזכר לעילוי נשמת מרים יפה בת הרב יוסף דוב ע”ה
לזכר לעילוי נשמת מרים ליבא בת אהרון
לזכר לעילוי נשמת מיכל בן ברוך
לזכר לעילוי נשמת מניש יצחק בן אריה
לזכר לעילוי נשמת דוד מרדכי בן אליעזר
לזכר לעילוי נשמת ברוך גדליה לייב בן הירש מוטל
Shiur Enjoyment
  • About
    • Privacy
  • Shiurim
    • 5 Minutes of Daily Parsha
    • “10 to 10 for 10”
      • Rabbi Adam P Dubin
      • Rabbi Efraim Levine
      • Rabbi Shmuel Mayefsky
      • Rabbi Eli Neiman
      • Rabbi Mordechai Plotsker
      • Rabbi Etan Tokayer
      • Rabbi Yissochor Wartell
    • A Shot Of Shabbos
    • Iyun Tefilah
    • Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Agishtein
    • Rabbi Avraham Avnit
    • Rabbi Avtzon
    • Jordana Baruchov
    • Rabbi Zalman Cohen
    • Rabbi Tzachi Diamond
    • The Parshah on Fire (Rabbi Hillel Eisenberg)
    • Bava Kamma, Mishanos with Danny Louis
      • Eduyos
      • Makkos
      • Sanhedrin
      • Shavuos
    • Megilla (Gemara) with Danny Louis
    • Rabbi Tzvi Mordechai Feldheim
    • Rabbi Sholom Francis
    • Rabbi Avraham Friedman
    • Rabbi Ephraim Friedman
    • Reb Isaac Friedman
    • Rabbi Shalom Garfinkel
    • Rabbi Uri Yehuda Greenspan – 1st Seder Bais Medrash
    • Rabbi Reuven Gross zt”l
    • Reb Tani Guterman
    • Rabbi Moshe Heigh
    • Chassidus R. Avi Kamman
    • Daf Yomi Brochos By Rabbi Shumel Bernath
    • Daf Yomi Shabbos By Rabbi Shumel Bernath
    • Rabbi Zev Kahn
    • Rabbi Yaakov Karp
    • Rabbi Moshe Klein
    • Rabbi Kalman Krohn ZTL.
    • Rebbetzin Chavah Sarah Luban Z”L
    • Rabbi Michael Merrill
    • Rabbi Dovid Perkel
      • Beis HaLevi On Bitachon
    • Rabbi Shmuel Plotsker
    • Rabbi Elisha Prero
    • Rabbi Yisroel Pruzansky (Chaishek HaTorah)
    • Living Higher with Chaim Reidel
    • Rabbi Moshe Revah
    • Shabbos Songs
    • Rabbi Menachem Siderson
    • Story Time for Kids
    • Rabbi Shay Tahan
    • SmallTalks with Rabbi Shmuel Tenenbaum
    • Rabbi Jeff Thurm
    • Rabbi Dovid Toback
    • Rabbi Efraim Twerski
    • Mrs. C D Urbach
    • Rabbi Yechiel Weberman
    • The 40 Day Challenge (2024)
  • Printable D’var Torahs
    • Printable D’var Torahs
    • Bet Horaah Shaare Ezra Newsletter (Rabbi Shay Tahan)
    • Bitachon Weekly (Rabbi Yehuda Mandel)
    • Chizuk With Rebbe Nachman ZT’L
    • Daf Yomi Insights
    • Doeihu: A Daily Guide For The Jewish Worker
    • Kavana B’Mitzvos (Rabbi Daniel Garfinkel)
    • Menucha Magazine
    • In Hilchos Shabbos (Rabbi Shmuel Stein)
    • Rashi Riddles
    • Sichos Yisroel (HaRav Yisroel Brog)
    • The Dee Pirkei Avot Project
    • The Spring Hill Times
    • United We Stand
  • Refuah Shelaima
  • Shiur Schedule
    • ShiurEnjoyment Zoom (9:50 PM EST)
  • Contact
  • Register
Donate

Blog

Shiur Enjoyment > News > R'Avigdor Miller Q&A > Rav Avigdor Miller On Mother-In-Laws

Rav Avigdor Miller On Mother-In-Laws

access_timeJanuary 23, 2020
perm_identity Posted by Jake W
folder_open R'Avigdor Miller Q&A

Rav Avigdor Miller On Mother-In-Laws
Q:
How does one bring peace to his family when in-laws are involved in the conflict?

A:
Number one, each partner should tell his or her father and mother. “Pa, Ma, stay out of it. Don’t talk to me one word against my husband or against my wife!” Lay down the law and don’t be afraid to do it. Your wife comes first. על כן יעזב איש את אביו ואת אמו — A man should forsake his father and his mother, ודבק באשתו, and he should be loyal to his spouse.

It’s a most stupid thing for a parent to talk to a child against the child’s spouse. And if the parents are so stupid, you have to tell them, “Either you stop talking about that or I won’t talk to you anymore.” Don’t be afraid! “I’ll talk about everything but not about my spouse.” That’s the first thing, to lay down the law.

Secondly, a husband and wife should never criticize each other’s parents. Don’t criticize your husband’s brothers or sisters. Never do that. That’s bad manners and it’s bad diplomacy. Now, this is elementary and very many people understand it by common sense, but some people must be told.

Now, sometimes it already has commenced – the war is on. What do you do? You must stop it. Of course, it’s not easy because they’re already angry at you. There’s a back and forth, and they want to get revenge for what you did in the past, so you have to find ways and means of making up. Start sending little gifts to your mother-in-law. Little gifts to your sisters-in-law, to your brothers-in-law. Find ways and means of being nice to them. They’ll continue to barb you, to needle you. But if you won’t react, little by little, it’ll die out, and after some time, peace will be restored.

Of course, if you start out on the right foot, it’s still better. When you get married start with wisdom. Make up your mind that you’re going to be the very best to your husband’s family or your wife’s family that you’re able to be.

Of course, don’t have your mother-in-law around too much. A mother-in-law should not settle in her daughter-in-law’s house. If she has to live with a child, she has to live with a daughter, but never with a daughter-in-law. Because a mother-in-law would have to be an angel in order to keep her mouth shut. And the daughter-in-law has to be an angel to suffer her mother-in-law.

Now there was a case – I had a member here whose mother was a widow and she lived with him. And they lived in tranquility; the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lived peacefully. It was a remarkable story. Many years passed by and never was there a whisper of dissension. But that’s an exception – it’s not something that should be.

Newer Rav Avigdor Miller on How To Learn To Keep Your Mouth Closed
Older Rav Avigdor Miller on The Airplane Crash
Search for:
Recent Comments
  • Tani on Kesuvos 11
  • Mike on Faith and Trust – Part 1
  • moshe on Love Your Neighbor – Finding the Good
  • Avi on Gentle Rebuke
  • Avi on Gentle Rebuke
Recent Posts
  • Melachim Bet Shiur 130/Perek 4
  • Inspirational Quotes – Week 124
  • Parsha Perspectives – Beha’aloscha
  • Kavana (Volume 77) Kiddush Hashem (5785)
  • (06_12_25) Supertotties Chabura – Beha’alosecha (5785)
Archives
  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
Categories
  • (Ext. 0) "We Are Your People" Stories
  • (Ext. 7) The 613 Mitzvot (According To Sefer HaChinukh)
  • 5 Minutes of Daily Parsha
  • A Letter in the Scroll – Understanding Our Jewish Identity and Exploring the Legacy of the World's Oldest Religion
  • A Shot of Shabbos
  • Aggadeta – fascinating
  • Ahavas Yisroel
  • Ahavat Yisroel
  • Aryeah Pearlman
  • Aseres Hashevatim
  • Audio
  • Avodah Zara
  • Avos
  • Avrohom Weinrib
  • Batei Mikdashos
  • Bava Basra
  • Bava Kamma
  • Bava Metzia
  • Bechorot – בכורות
  • Beis Habechira
  • Beis HaLevi On Bitachon
  • Beis Rabbeinu shebebavel
  • Berachos – ברכות
  • Bet Horaah Shaare Ezra Newsletter
  • Bigdei Kehuna
  • Birchas HaMazon
  • Birkas Yaakov
  • BISHUL
  • Bitachon Weekly (Rabbi Yehuda Mandel)
  • BORER
  • Chagim
  • Chassidus – R. Avi Kamman
  • Chassidus (Kuntres Inyono shel Toas Chassidus)
  • Chelek 1 (Cycle 3)
  • Chizuk with Rebbe Nachman
  • chofets chaim
  • Chumash in Depth
  • Cincinnati women workshops.
  • CZE
  • Daf Yomi Insights
  • Daf Yomi Shabbos
  • Danny Louis
  • Divrei Torah
  • Doeihu: A Daily Guide For The Jewish Worker
  • Doving
  • Drashos of Rav Lamm Zt"l
  • Eduyos
  • Eim Habonim Sameichah
  • Eiruchin – ערכין
  • Eiruvin – עירובין
  • Gemara
  • Getting Ready For Yom Tov
  • Gitin
  • Gog U'Magog
  • Hadran 5735 (Rambam)
  • Hakdama to Tefilah
  • Halacha
  • Holidays
  • Holidays
  • Horayos
  • In Hilchos Shabbos
  • In Hilchos Tefillah
  • In Hilchos Yom Tov
  • Intro to Midrash
  • Intro to Talmud 101
  • Introduction to the (Back) Story of Hanukkah
  • Isaac Friedman
  • Iyun Tefilah
  • Jordana Baruchov
  • Kapital 121
  • Kavana B'Mitzvos (Rabbi Daniel Garfinkel)
  • Kavod Shamayim
  • Keilim of Beis Hamikdash
  • Kinim – קינים
  • Kitzin
  • Kol Dodi Dofek: Listen – My Beloved Knocks
  • Krisus – כריתות
  • Lights on Orot – The Teachings of HaRav Avraham Yitzhak HaCohen Kook
  • Live Events
  • Living Higher with Chaim Reidel
  • Maharal – Sefer Tiferes Yisroel
  • Makkos
  • Malchus Beis Dovid
  • Meedos Daf Yomi by Shumel
  • Megilla (Gemara)
  • Meilah – מעילה
  • Melachim Aleph
  • Menucha Magazine
  • MJE High Holiday 5784 Speeches
  • MJE High Holiday 5785 Speeches
  • Moshiach Practical
  • Motzen Shabbos Torah Insights
  • Mussar
  • Nefesh HaChaim
  • Niddah – נדה
  • P'sukei D'Zimrah
  • Parsha
  • Parsha
  • Parsha
  • Parsha
  • Parsha
  • Parsha – Chabura
  • Pele Yoetz
  • Pesachim
  • Pesachim – פסחים
  • Pirkei Avos
  • Power of tefilah
  • Printable D'var Torahs
  • R' Aron Michoel Rokowsky
  • R'Avigdor Miller Q&A
  • Rabbi Aaron Weichbrod
  • Rabbi Adam P Dubin
  • Rabbi Avraham Avnit
  • Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Agishtein
  • Rabbi Ben Zion Rand
  • Rabbi Chaim Basch
  • Rabbi Chaim Zev Levitan
  • Rabbi Chnider
  • Rabbi Doni Deutsch
  • Rabbi Doniel Stuam
  • Rabbi Dovid Perkel
  • Rabbi Dovid Toback
  • Rabbi Efraim Levine
  • Rabbi Efraim Twerski
  • Rabbi Eli Neiman
  • Rabbi Elisha Prero
  • Rabbi Etan Tokayer
  • Rabbi Ezra Balsam
  • Rabbi Fischel Becher
  • Rabbi Gross women shiur
  • Rabbi Jeff Thurm
  • Rabbi Joshua Hess
  • Rabbi Kalman Krohn Z""L
  • Rabbi Klatzko
  • Rabbi Lebovits
  • Rabbi Lesser
  • Rabbi Melamed
  • Rabbi Menachem Siderson
  • Rabbi Mordechai Raizman
  • Rabbi Moshe Heigh
  • Rabbi Moshe Klein
  • Rabbi Moshe Revah – Daf Yomi
  • Rabbi Moshe Schochet
  • Rabbi Raizman
  • Rabbi Raizman Daft Thought
  • Rabbi Raphael Leban
  • Rabbi Reuven Gross
  • Rabbi Reuven Taragin
  • Rabbi Seplowitz
  • Rabbi Shalom Garfinkel
  • Rabbi Shay Tahan
  • Rabbi Shaya Fisher
  • Rabbi Shimon Morgenstern
  • Rabbi Shimon Morgenstern Weekly Review
  • Rabbi Shlomo Farhi
  • Rabbi Shmuel Mayefsky
  • Rabbi Shmuel Plotsker
  • Rabbi Shmuel Tenenbaum
  • Rabbi Tzachi Diamond
  • Rabbi Tzvi Mordechai Feldheim
  • Rabbi Uri Lesser
  • Rabbi Yaakov Karp
  • Rabbi Yair Hoffman
  • Rabbi Yechiel Spero
  • Rabbi Yechiel Weberman
  • Rabbi Yisroel Neuman
  • Rabbi Yissochor Wartell
  • Rabbi Yosef Alt
  • Rabbi Yosef Melamed
  • Rabbi Yosef Palacci
  • Rabbi Yosef Simon
  • Rabbi Zalman Cohen
  • Rabbi Zev Kahn
  • Rabbi Zvi Elimelech Rokeach
  • Rashi Riddles
  • Rav Avi Wiesenfeld
  • Rav Dessler
  • Rav Moshe Donnebaum
  • Rav Yaakov Yagen
  • Rav Yosef Chaim Schwab on Chumash Rashi
  • Reb Isaac Friedman
  • Reb Mordechai Plotsker
  • Rebbetzin Chavah Sarah Luban
  • Rebbetzin Chavah Sarah Luban PDF & Artwork
  • Rom Tuvia leibner
  • Sanhedrin
  • Sefira
  • Sfas Tamim
  • Sforim and Sofrim
  • Shaarai Teshuva
  • Shabbos – שבת
  • Shabbos Songs
  • Shacharis
  • Shavuos
  • Shema
  • Shemiras Halashon
  • Shemiras Haloshon
  • Shiurim -Rabbi Ephraim Friedman
  • Shmuel Bais by Shmuel Plotsker
  • Shmuel Reichman
  • Sichos Yisroel (HaRav Yisroel Brog)
  • Simcha Shron Daf Yomi Beginners Barochos
  • Simcha Shron Daf Yomi Beginners Shabbos
  • SmallTalks with Rabbi Shmuel Tenenbaum
  • Stories
  • Story time for kids
  • Sukkot
  • T'murah – תמורה
  • Tachlis Talks
  • Tamid – תמיד
  • Tani Talks Daf
  • Tani Talks Life
  • Tani Talks Parsha
  • Tani Talks Pirkei Avos
  • Tani Talks Sessions
  • Tanya – Rabbi Naftali Silberberg
  • Techiyas Hameisim
  • Tefila
  • Tehillim – Life Lessons
  • The 40 Day Challenge (2021)
  • The 40 Day Challenge (2022)
  • The 40 Day Challenge (2023)
  • The 40 Day Challenge (2024)
  • The best part of waking up
  • The Dee Pirkei Avot Project
  • The Final Exam: Letters to Our Students
  • The Majesty of Rosh HaShanah
  • The Rav – The World of Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik (Volume 1)
  • The Return to Zion: Addresses on Religious Zionism and American Orthodoxy
  • The Spring Hill Times
  • Tisha B'av Chaburah
  • Torah Personality Shiurim
  • Toras Baal Shem Tov
  • Torat Eretz Yisrael – The Teachings of HaRav Tzvi Yehuda HaCohen Kook
  • Uncategorized
  • United We Stand
  • Virtual Yeshiva
  • Walking With The Prophets
  • Wisdom From The House of Healing
  • Written
  • Yaakov Klein
  • Yediyos Klalios
  • Yom Tov
  • Yomim Noraim
  • Zchor L'Miriam
  • ZTL.
Meta
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
Ad Banner
Tags
Achrey Mos Bamidbar Bechukosai Behar Beshalach Bo chanuka codebean Emor Kedoshim Ki Sisa Meilah Daf Yomi by Shumel Bernath metzora MIketytz Mishpatim Naso parsha Parsha isaac friedman pesach Purim Rabb Ben Zion Rand Shavous Shavuos Shemos Tazria Tetzaveh Tetzvaveh Truma Va Era Vayakhel Vayeshev Vayetzey Vayichi Vayigash Vayikra vayishlach vayislach Yisro

All the learning from this website is done Leilui Nishmas
(in memory of)

Dovid & Miriam Winiarz  •  Miriam Leba Bas Aharon • Michel Ben Baruch • Manish Yitzchok Ben Aryeh

Baruch Ben Michal • Dovid Ben Yechial Yehoshua

© 2025 Shiur Enjoyment. All rights reserved
keyboard_arrow_up