Rav Avigdor Miller on Learning to Be liked
How can a person make himself be liked by the people he meets every day?
So for that you’ll have to be ready now for a two hour lecture.
First of all, don’t talk too much.
And secondly, show that you like that person – even though you don’t. It’s a mitzvah to be a good actor – Hakodosh Boruch Hu will reward you for showing that you like that person. Now, if it’s a decent person, try your best to make a hit with him. But if he’s a person of low character, so just be polite and get rid of him as fast as you can. לך מנגד מאיש כסיל – Go away from a fool. The resha’im are fools, so don’t waste too much time on them. But if there is any hope, spend some time trying to win him over. But in either case, to everybody you have to be polite.
Now, the next thing, the third thing, is to find something that’s good in that person that you can encourage. If you say some encouraging words he will prize it all his life.
So I’ve told you so far three things. That’s an installment, maybe for some future lecture, I’ll repeat it. First of all, don’t talk much, listen. Secondly, smile – show that you like the person. Thirdly, try to encourage him in some good thing – in his parnasah, or in his family – whatever it is, try to encourage him.
Now as I said before, in case he’s not a person of good character, so as soon as possible part company with him. The less time you spend with him, the better you are.
You want some more information? Maybe in the future we’ll talk about this topic.